Final (Part 3)

"Look, look, Tolyan, what this goalkeeper is doing," laughed the already quite drunk Vovan, "oh, I can't, what an artist. What are you doing?" he asked his drinking companion, who was crawling out from under the seat of a fat man sitting in front of him. "Where did you get the beer?" he looked questioningly at the bottle in his friend's hands.

"Shh," Tolyan whispered, "he," pointing his eyes at the man, "has a whole bag there. Drinking a lot is bad for you, let him share with good people. Besides, I've wanted to pee for a long time. The arithmetic is simple. Look, the bottle is full, right?"

"Well," the friend shrugged in confusion, "and what?"

"And now?" asked Tolyan, taking a sip from it.

"Half empty," Vovan replied, greedily reaching for the bottle.

"Don't fuss," said the friend, lowering the vessel down between his legs and a few seconds later demonstrating the bottle filled with a foamy liquid, "see, it's full again. The law of conservation of matter: it was full - it remained full, it was in the basket," and he put the bottle in the bag, "again in the basket, I wanted to pee, I don't want to pee anymore. Everyone is happy," he chuckled.

"Well, you are Einstein!" Vovan looked at his friend with admiration, "I am proud of you!"

Hook furiously threw away a cigarette butt. The goal scored by the rivals enraged him.

[Abridged Translation Summary: During the chaotic match, the fake referee (Shmulinson, directed via earpiece by his brother-in-law Katz) makes bizarre calls that inadvertently serve the mafia's conflicting interests. Two drunk fans steal beer and secretly replace it with urine using an elaborate hose contraption, causing distress to a well-dressed spectator. A hitman tries to use a tranquilizer dart gun but ends up shooting his own nephew. Various sabotages, like magnets in boots and itchy bristles in uniforms, hinder the players. Meanwhile, characters at the psychiatric hospital experience absurd misunderstandings, with a reporter being forced into a chemical protection suit and given an enema after giving a mafia password.]