# Ð¤Ð¸Ð½Ð°Ð» (Ð§Ð°ÑÑ‚ÑŒ 1)

Eduard Dolgunov

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Final (Part 1)

FINAL. A rehearsal of a symphony orchestra. At the conductor's stand, half-closing his eyes hidden behind old-fashioned glasses with incredibly thick lenses, a puny conductor with a beard thrashes in ecstasy. His name is Innokenty Shmulinson. The rehearsal takes place in an old, very uncomfortable hall. Everyone except the conductor has a clearly bored look. The double bass player whispers with the drummer, fiercely proving something to him.

"Idiot! Don't you understand this is a chance? How are you going to break out of poverty? Do your drums give you much? Or do you need nothing else but music, like this cretin," pointing to the exalted conductor, "my dear relative? How many years has my poor sister been married to him, and apart from music sheets, she buys nothing else in the store."

"Andryukha, what do you want from me?" the drummer asked the double bass player with annoyance. "What exactly are you proposing?"

"To make money on the sweepstakes, that's what," the double bass player whispered passionately, squatting down. "Well, let's drink!"

"Oh, she's good, the devil," the drummer grunted, biting into a pickled cucumber, "it warms the soul."

"Well, it's pure alcohol, what do you expect?" the "double bass" also bit the cucumber and rhythmically plucked the strings of his instrument.

"Guys, you bastards, give us a sip," the string players pleaded, "have a conscience, we are dry today," the violinists held out plastic cups.

"The cello, parasite, has a day off, and it's his turn to bring the 'bomb' (that's what the orchestra members called a bottle of alcohol)." The tap of the conductor's baton on the music stand made them take their working position.

"I ask for attention. Stop extraneous conversations," the conductor looked strictly at the string players, "episode 35, please, begin," and he waved his hands.

"Milan, you infection, lend me some money, I'm asking you as a human being," the double bass fiercely plucked his instrument, "we can really make money on this football match."

"Katz!" the drummer resolutely stated, hitting the drum, "go to hell! Do you even remember how much you owe me and you still want more? Don't even think about it, adventurer."

"Pah," the double bass spat and sadly plucked the strings, "there's no one to talk to. Where can I get money?"

An emergency meeting at the mayor's office. In a large office, on a huge semi-oval table, a map of the city is laid out. Around the table stand solid-looking people, including several high military ranks.

[Abridged Translation Summary: The mayor and officials, including military and police, discuss security preparations for an upcoming football match, treating it like a major military operation. Meanwhile, a mafia boss, "Hook", is plotting to fix the game, learning that the secret referee is coming with a cat. The conductor, Shmulinson, tries to install a chandelier at home but gets electrocuted and hospitalized. In the same hospital room, the secret referee is also admitted after a bizarre accident involving his cat. The double bass player, visiting Shmulinson, discovers the referee's identity and hatches a plan to substitute Shmulinson for the referee to rig the sweepstakes. He misleads a reporter into thinking the real referee was taken to a psychiatric ward. The mafia bosses ("Hook" and "Mound") are engaged in a turf war that a higher Council of Bosses has decreed will be settled by the outcome of this football match.]